~ Unconditional & Scarificial Love ~

I just wanted to share this 1 thing that really impacted me and spoke into my heart.

There was this 1 day, when I was taking the train, I saw a sight that reminded me of God's unconditional love.

There was a couple in their 60/70's. The man was in a wheel chair, the lady was old, frail and walking with a bit of difficulty. As the lady pushed the man in and I offered her a seat, but she waved me away and declined. It was then that she turned aside and decided instead, to fully care for her husband. She slowly and carefully put on a sweater for her husband and wiped off his sweat, offered a drink and took care of his every need without a single complain. Yet, from her expressions, you could see that she was tired, panting and had an expression that revealed that she was fatigue.

Yet through it all, she took care of his every need and refused to seat. She made sure that he was comfortable, had a drink and was happy with how he was. Even as she was going to fall, she didn't care, she just wanted to make sure that he was alright. Every few seconds, she would just take a look to see if he was okay, and that he was comfortable.

It was just a short 15 minutes. yet, it really wrecked my heart and made me think of all the instances when I hear of couples beaking up cause of a disability of either, and thought back of the times when youths just totally disregards senior citizens, pretending like they were non-existent.

How could so many people claim to love when they're not even willing to sacrifice? When their love is bordered on conditions of health and stability?

It was then, that God really spoke to me and impressed upon my heart.
about the fullness and totallity of His great love.

In reality, with sin, we are really like an old man or old women, crippled, sitting on a wheel chair and with so many needs. Yet He never gave up on us, even when satan came and caused Him to die on the cross. It was like the mrt jerk, trying to stumble and create an obstacle. As though, it would discourage Him from caring for us and just loving us.

Yet... it just couldn't stop His love. He did all that; suffer ridicule, go through betrayal, be tortured, crucified and die on that very cross. All this, just cause He loves us, and wants us to be well & live a life that would be for Him.

Washing our sins and bringing us to a stage where we are just 'comfortable' per se, but when we believe, we in turn should and can be like the old lady, even with discomforts, but in turn care and love others.

This is God's love...

An unconditional, sacrificial and overwhelming love...

~ a thought on a person's prayer life ~

A Person's prayer life is like running.

When you run, day in, day out, and keep running, you'll be able to run faster and for a longer distance. Likewiese, when you keep praying, you grow stronger and am able to pray longer.

If you set your heart on running, you'll be able to accomplish beyond what you originally though you could. When you set your heart on praying, letting go of all else that distracts and let God speak to you, you'll be brought to another level. In spirit and relationship with the Father, just keep seeking Him, and it'll be brought higher.

When you slacken and decide to take a break, you realise that you can't run like you used to be able to, easily weary and want to give up. It's the same when you pray. However, when you pull yourself together and press in, there will be a breakthrough and you will grow.

It's amazing isn't it?

God reveals so much in our everyday lives, that a simple thing like running can have so much to do with our spiritual life. I believe that if we keep praying and pressing on, running consistently in our spiritual life, we will grow and grow.

Setting our lives in Him will just carry us beyond our original capacity and beyond our originally thought potential.

~ You have my heart ~

'I find my hope in You, my Lord.
I find my hope.
All of my strength is find in You,
You are my strength.

Lord, take my cares,
Bring me closer to You.
Lord, take my cares,
Bring me closer to You.

I reach out my hands
And worship You, Jesus.
Let Your Spirit fall
And make me new,
More like You.
You have my heart,
Jesus Christ, I give You my life.

You're all I need,
You're all I seek,
You're all I dream,
Jesus.

You're all I need,
You're all I seek,
You're all I dream,
Jesus.'

This song, is called 'You have my heart' and it's by Christian City Church Youth.

Today, this whole day I was listening to Sing About You and somehow when Valerie Cheong asked me about this song, something in my spirit clicked. So next thing I knew, I was listening to the song and God's presence came down so strongly, I just couldn't help but cry.Why cry? Cause His peace and joy was so overwhelming and it just touched my heart, touched my Spirit. The Lord's love is awesome.

'You're all I need,
You're all I seek,
You're all I dream,
Jesus'

This few words, phrases just shouts out in my life right now.In life, many feel that certain things like status, money, relationships, careers, are all needs. Hence, they so passionately and vehemently seek it out, spending countless hours dreaming about how to achieve such things.

Why? Why is it that so many people think and give their lives, slaving over every minute of their lives working just to achieve these things of the temporal? It is something that's so painful to see, something that totally wrecks my heart.

I've seen friends and family members that seem so 'enlightened', it's as if they know just what is it that they want in their lives. Yet, when you ask them, what are their dreams, what are the things that they seek for, they can't give a proper answer. They tell me things like money, status (power), career, relationships (BGR), without exactly thinking that these things actually don't matter to them. So when I ask, 'so what happens if you got all these things?' They are dumbfounded, not knowing and not withstanding, unable to come up with answers. They have lost sight, not knowing that it's because, these are things that they do not really need.

I do understand that people require money per se to 'survive' in this world. Yet, the truth is that there are people who place such things in such high statuses in their lives that they lose sight of what is really a need, what is really important. They worry about all these things day and night, and seek it, slaving over their work to achieve all these things.

"25There I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?
26Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?
27Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?
28So why do you worry about clothing? Considering the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin;
29and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
30Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the over, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
31Therefore do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'
32For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For all your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.
33But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
34Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about tis own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."

~ Matthew 6: 25 - 34 ~

I think this verse really speaks out to in accordance to the song. Let it be that we seek first God's Kingdom and all these things that we 'need', 'seek' and 'dream' shall be added unto us. This is something that I firmly believe in, that really, why do we seek and dream of all the things of the world, when what the Father sees is important to us will be provided.

In this scripture, it says that even the 'Gentiles' seek all these things in the world and even so, the Father provides it to them. Birds do not need to worry about food yet they are fed. Plants are clothed without doing anything for the Lord provides.

What than of humans?

We are God's people, where we are made in His image. He gave His one and only Son to die for us, such that we may yet again come into His presence and live for Him without having the need to bear the burden of all our sins.

That is why I live with this song. Where truly all my needs, all that I seek and all my dreams are in Jesus.

In the song, there's a part that goes like this...

'On this altar I'll stand,
With my hands lifted high.
I want to draw close to You,
Your joy in my life.

And I join with all the angels,
Singing songs of praise.
I feel Your love surround me,
You wash my fears away.

How I will love to,
How I love to sing about You.
Your love shines down.

How I will love to,
How I love to sing about You.
Your peace falls down.'

This is my heart, and that's where I place it... in the Lord.

When we surrender our lives on the altar and just let go, and let God. His love will surround us and all our fears will be washed away. What we have once went around as a 'need', or 'seek' and 'dream' about will be dealt with as we are filled with the Lord's love and peace that shines down
and falls on our lives.

That's why, I can sing...

'You have my heart...'

~ an anguish in the Spirit ~

"But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king's delicacies..."
~ Daniel 1:8 ~

This verse just spoke to me today when Pastor Joakim and Pastor How shared about how we shouldn't defile ourselves, and should just live a life that is consecrated to the Lord. It really was a revelation to me cause I could here God saying that though many of us proclaim to be Christians, we let the world and everything that is in it tempt us. Leading us to be defiled or commit sins.

What are things that can tempt us? Basically, most of the things that can tempt us are things that are 'good' or 'attractive' to us. Honestly, the world is as such, where there are just so many beautiful things and great things out there, yet often, when we get to absorbed in them, we no longer put God first in our lives.

Things such as relationships aren't bad, in fact, relationships i.e. BGR are fantastic to have. God created love and we ARE meant to share it with others, loving another is one way that God expresses and extends His love. However, why is it that relationships can be seen as something that we don't want in our lives is cause many of us are not mature, not of the ripe age or spiritually strong enough to be in a relationship, loving others and yet, having God as our number one spot in our lives. We are unable to balance our lives, and in the end, most Christians that do have relationships, end up compromising their spiritual lives and place Him as number two in comparison to their relationship.

"We are in the world, but not of the world"

This is a quote that I love, one that speaks directly to my soul when it tries to rise up against my spirit.

"Others can, I cannot"

That is the quote that I use to reply when the soul says, "it's alright! Why don't you just try to take a sip of this; take a taste or sample of that; after all, you're not really committing a sin!"

It's never hard to compromise, but to be able to start against it, is something entirely different. At times, we've to bash ourselves up just so that we can stand firm.

In fact, I recall how it was so easy to see so many of friends get into a relationship, and it made me feel that I should go into one as well. It wasn't hard. I already had someone that had feelings for me and I did have good feelings for her. We hit it off and certainly it felt like maybe I should have the relationship. Yet, it never felt good in the spirit, times when I compromised my time with God just to talk to her on the phone or go out with her. At times, reasoning with myself to go out with her when I could have used the time to be in church and have fellowship with God and my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. I knew that it just wasn't right and I certainly wasn't ready to have a relationship when I was compromising God's position in my life. "Others can, I cannot".

It took a while, but I finally managed to pray, to ask God to help me break out of this chain, to say, "God, You are the One that I want in my life, and I want You to fill that need." It was then, when I managed to say it and with Yong Hui, praying along with me, I felt an unspeakable peace, a love that surpassed anything that I have ever felt in my entire life just fill me.

I knew then, God was real and that I would never let anything defile that love that He has for me. This is why, I now hold this verse close to my heart.

This verse reminded me of an incident just this month. I was in my room, in my condominium, and I heard lots of voices in the middle of the night at 3am. I had just finished Quiet Time and was looking at the garden when I heard the voices. Locating the source of the noice, I saw then a group of 3 girls and a guy, they were intoxicated. 2 of them were so drunk that they vommited in the car before stumbling out of the taxi. They then 'danced' their way to the slides of the play ground, threw their shoes all over the place and just lay on the slides and the ground, in obscure positions. After that, they left their belongings and just swayed their way around to goodness knows where as the other girl and guy helped to collect their stuff and guide them home.

When I saw that, I was so angry. Till this day, I feel an anguish, cause I just feel that their lives and time could be used to do so much more. It could be used to change lives, to touch lives, to love others, to just really love God. My heart just broke and I felt so angry that so many people are in the world and just letting it influence them. It's so wrecking to the heart especially when I see Christians letting the world defile them. Like when I was in army and I saw so many of my Christian friends lose their fire for God, when I see them start swaying and changing due to the culture of the army; filled with vulgarities and indecency. It wrecked my heart when I saw good Christians of great hearts get cynical and losing their faith in the Lord. Why? Cause of others round them; when the "king's delicacies" tempt them and just slowly fill their hearts.

It angers me and I pray that God will move in such a way, that there will be a difference. Heart of God church, and all its members, especially Zone G will lead an alternate lifestyle. We will live in the world but we will NOT be of the world, but rather, we will let God, and with is, even when we're presented with "king's delicacies", we will not let it defile ourselves.

I believe...

~ Alternative Life ~

It's the New Year!

A new beginning!

A beginning of a life that is an alternative!

A life that would not be for myself, but for others!

'It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me'
~ Galatians 2:20 ~

This is a verse that will be how I want to live through it all. Not my will, but Yours be done. Its challenge to live an alternative life, yet I know that it's God's will for us. To truly rise up and live a life that would be a living testimony to others. To show them that though we're cool, successful, have everything in the world, but we will be wiling to give up everything just to live a life for God and His purpose.

What do we mean when we talk about living for His purpose? I do not mean starting a revolution that goes against everybody else and being someone that's religious fanatically. I mean living with relevance to the world, and excelling in the world, yet willing to serve in ministry in church, on fire and just willing to put down everything, all for more of God's will and presence!

It also means a simple word, 'Others'. It's a life for others, not for self. An others centered life that means risking ridicule and suffering to extend God's love to others. Not being ignorant of others or of things that are going around us, but rather to live to love, to be 'the salt and light of the world' and be a living testimony. Loving others, not self.

I don't believe that we can't live a life that is for others. 'The beginnings of leadership', the vision for us this year. It's a Word from God and it's one that applies not just to the entire church, but rather, to each and every individual one of our lives.

For myself, I've to really expand in my capacity and grow, grow a whole new level such that I'll be able to take on more responsibilities and not let things drag me down. It's a whole new year with new challenges, I welcome them cause I know that God presents them to me so that I can grow. I'm going to rise up, and be a leader in His right and purpose for me!

"Whether that means life or death, no matter!"
~ Philippians 1:21 ~

I think this particular scripture echoes my heart right now, and it's something that I will hold close to my heart. Truly in my heart right now, I am convicted. Convicted such that no matter what, I want to live for God's purpose and His will. Death means nothing to me, for I am already dead.

It sounds a bit morbid doesn't it? Well, it isn't cause in my life, I don't live for myself anymore, I live for Jesus! I am dead to myself, Jesus lives in me and that's what I hope to live for and want to do through my life. That is the Word for me, to live for Him and let Him work in me and through me for His purpose.

This is a powerful wallpaper that I believe in. When we say we want to live an alternative life, we're talking about an identity that is set apart. We are there to live a life that is to save and empower lives of others, where we live for OTHERS.

This is not as hard as it is, the only war that we truly fight is really within us, where we struggle with our souls. Our souls are the one thing that we face constantly and it's the thing that causes us to stumble when we run with such a vision. The thing that makes us question the vision and purpose that God has set for us, is our soul and our mind is part of that soul. I believe that the soul is where we can win the most, but only when we can trust the Lord with all our hearts and let Him work in us and help us win that battle against our souls.

An alternative life... Let go, let God!

~ Soldier Of Christ ~

"ORD loh!" Screams and shouts of happiness and joy echoed throughout the squares or 1st Commando Battalion, around the walls of the buildings and far beyond. Reflections of the feelings of exhilaration to a life after the 2 years tenure of National Service Full Time as a Commando.

As we did the slow march out of the parade square to the music of 'Auld Lang Syne', I looked at the faces of all the rest of my company mates, memories of the times we spent flashed back through my mind. This wasn't just of the times we fought as a company, but also the times when we went through things as buddies or even just disturbing ('suanning') each other. It was inevitable, tears started flowing down as I realised that I loved these guys more than I thought that I did, yet, more than that, wishing that I could have built better relationships with some of them so that I could reach out to them. Nonetheless, the times we spent are precious and honestly, they will never be forgotten as the memories will live in my mind through time.





It's amazing how when we 1st walked our very 1st 4KM route march, we thought we would all just die and wondered how we were ever going to complete the 72KM requirement as a Commando. From SOCs, IPPTs and all those 1st outfields, little did anyone expect that we would survive and surpass our own expectations to endure and ORD as a Commando.


From Basic Military Training (BMT) to Basic Airborne Course (BAC), parachuting down from over a 1000feet was by no means a easy task, as we put on nerves of steel to overcome fear (especially for some with fear of heights) to jump of the aircraft and just land on the ground. Thought scary, never did it occur to me that it would be so enjoyable. The most amazing thing however was there whenever I was up there, before I jumped off, when I prayed, God always filled my heart with a sense of peace and took away all anxiety, and even in the air, all I could do was marvel at God's faithfullness and work as I looked at the surrounding land of Singapore. It's amazing how God can turn such a scary thing to one that's so beautiful and enjoyable, that all you can do is praise God and give Him glory.


Passing out as a corporal saw us being ushered into a new phase... Dettachment Operations Training (DOT). It was the toughest and most testing time of our whole NSF in my opinion, ESPECIALLY the training stint at Brunei. Yet, the truth is that through it, I truly knew that God was there by my side and protecting me. How did I know? Cause before I left for Brunei, my mum told me she was praying for me through God and throughout the whole trip, numerous times when I wanted to stick my hand out to grab for something as I was slipping down steep slopes in the cliffs or so, I could feel God telling me, "No, don't do it", only to realise that if I had done otherwise, I would have gotten injured with sharp, long thorns sticking into my hands. Isn't God a good and loving God?!


Through ATEC in Taiwan and Recce course in Thailand, God was faithful. He always showed mercy and favour to Yong Hui & me, caring for us and it was obvious that higher powers were at work when we were due to get not-so-positive problems, yet they just didn't affect us or last minute, it just totally didn't materialise. The Thailand trip was the most painful draggy experience when it rained and rained throughout the entire 6-7days exercise, only to allow me to have more quiet time and really dwell in fasting for spiritual growth that I couldn't really find the time to do so. Though I was wet, soaked to the skin, with blisters and extrememly painful foot rot, tired and hungry from fasting, I was more cheerful and more energised than the rest of the team, cause I was more able to spend QUIET TIME with God. It was apparant that I wasn't living by my own strength but God provided me with what I was required to. Ultimately, God carried me through and delivered my team and I safely back to camp as 1 of the 1st 3 teams to extricate early, allowing me to have more recovery time and just be so grateful for His love and mercy.


God is truly an awesome God! BMT -> BAC -> Vocational Training (VT) -> DOT -> 72KM -> ATEC -> Unarmed Combat (UC) -> Recce course... what's all this suffering and temporal where all they have served to do was to push me closer to God as I pressed in harder and harder into His presence, as trainings got tougher and just giving me the opportunity to dwell deeper within the presence of God, growing in Him. Isn't God awesome?


Certianly God is an awesome God. As training schedules tightened, it made me treasure God and church services more, hence, the need and hunger for His Word grew. Honestly, looking back, I've seen how God has been so faithful to me even though I never deserved it. Truly, He is the father of the prodigal son where we as sons, have left or made our beloved Father angry or turned our backs on Him, He still loves us and always takes us back with loving hands. Yet, this doesn't give us an excuse to take advantage of His loving kindness or grace per se, but rather, we should all the more change ourselves such that we do NOT commit the same mistakes and seek to grow into better people. Love and forgiveness were never meant to be taken for granted, but rather, shared and given back.


The Lord was there for me while I was in Brunei, even when I had turned away for a relationship, protecting me in so many different ways that I can never ever be able to illustrate or number. He saw me through 72KM and ATEC, the most tiring and draining times of my spiritual life as I went back to Him, He provided me with loving friends and support from all around, never giving up on me, even as I slid, supporting me and propping me back up to my feet. He carried me through Recce course even as I developed diarrhoea, intestinal virus attack, knee injuries and foot rot, he provided me with care and love. When I was injured, He used others to love me, people like Yong Hui and even non-Christians to just help me get things when it hurt the most. No matter what I faced or where I went, God was a Father and He was like the Commanding Officer (CO), Officer Commanding (OC), Company Sergeant Major (CSM), officer and specialist all rolled into One, caring for His son, His men.






1 other thing that I am most thankful about is that God provided me with a fantastic brother in the unit... Yong Hui. Together we fight in 1st Commando Battalion, but more importantly, together, we'll always fight for God! :D






"brothers in arm, brothers in Christ!"







Though I may ORD from the Singapore Armed Forces, but forever, I'll be a regular, a Commando for the army of God. Nothing and no-one can ever stop me from fighting the good fight and for the purposes of God! Always, forever and for eternity, I'll be a Soldier of Christ!

~ It's all about You! ~

Jesus, Lover Of My Soul (It's All About You)

It's all about You, Jesus
And all this is for You
For Your glory and Your fame

It's not about me
As if You should do things my way
You alone are God and I surrender
To Your ways

Jesus, lover of my soul
All consuming fire is in Your gaze
Jesus, I want You to know
I will follow You all my days
For no one else in history is like You
And history itself belongs to You
Alpha and Omega, You have loved me
And I will spend eternity with You

It's all about You, Jesus
And all this is for You
For Your glory and Your fame

It's not about me
As if You should do things my way
You alone are God and I surrender
To Your ways

This is the song, the song that echoes the heart, not just of mine but I believe the sea of people that are in Heart of God Church.

Truly, if there's anything, it has to be about Jesus!

When we live our lives, sometimes we have to take a step back and just look at it. There are times when we don't really realise that when we live, we don't live for ourselves only, but rather, we live for Christ. Isn't it true that for we live in Christ, and for Christ lives in us, and for we live with Christ, what we do actually reflects a lot about our relationship with Him?

Thus, when we live, let us live for Him, live a life that is fruitful and one that will bring glory to His name. It's not about me, it's not about us, for His ways are bigger than ours. Alpha & Omega, from the beginning to the end, He has loved us and never forsook us. Isn't God awesome?

Look at the lyrics. I don't need to talk about it any further, this is my heart...

Jesus, it's all about You!