As we did the slow march out of the parade square to the music of 'Auld Lang Syne', I looked at the faces of all the rest of my company mates, memories of the times we spent flashed back through my mind. This wasn't just of the times we fought as a company, but also the times when we went through things as buddies or even just disturbing ('suanning') each other. It was inevitable, tears started flowing down as I realised that I loved these guys more than I thought that I did, yet, more than that, wishing that I could have built better relationships with some of them so that I could reach out to them. Nonetheless, the times we spent are precious and honestly, they will never be forgotten as the memories will live in my mind through time.
It's amazing how when we 1st walked our very 1st 4KM route march, we thought we would all just die and wondered how we were ever going to complete the 72KM requirement as a Commando. From SOCs, IPPTs and all those 1st outfields, little did anyone expect that we would survive and surpass our own expectations to endure and ORD as a Commando.
From Basic Military Training (BMT) to Basic Airborne Course (BAC), parachuting down from over a 1000feet was by no means a easy task, as we put on nerves of steel to overcome fear (especially for some with fear of heights) to jump of the aircraft and just land on the ground. Thought scary, never did it occur to me that it would be so enjoyable. The most amazing thing however was there whenever I was up there, before I jumped off, when I prayed, God always filled my heart with a sense of peace and took away all anxiety, and even in the air, all I could do was marvel at God's faithfullness and work as I looked at the surrounding land of Singapore. It's amazing how God can turn such a scary thing to one that's so beautiful and enjoyable, that all you can do is praise God and give Him glory.
Passing out as a corporal saw us being ushered into a new phase... Dettachment Operations Training (DOT). It was the toughest and most testing time of our whole NSF in my opinion, ESPECIALLY the training stint at Brunei. Yet, the truth is that through it, I truly knew that God was there by my side and protecting me. How did I know? Cause before I left for Brunei, my mum told me she was praying for me through God and throughout the whole trip, numerous times when I wanted to stick my hand out to grab for something as I was slipping down steep slopes in the cliffs or so, I could feel God telling me, "No, don't do it", only to realise that if I had done otherwise, I would have gotten injured with sharp, long thorns sticking into my hands. Isn't God a good and loving God?!
Through ATEC in Taiwan and Recce course in Thailand, God was faithful. He always showed mercy and favour to Yong Hui & me, caring for us and it was obvious that higher powers were at work when we were due to get not-so-positive problems, yet they just didn't affect us or last minute, it just totally didn't materialise. The Thailand trip was the most painful draggy experience when it rained and rained throughout the entire 6-7days exercise, only to allow me to have more quiet time and really dwell in fasting for spiritual growth that I couldn't really find the time to do so. Though I was wet, soaked to the skin, with blisters and extrememly painful foot rot, tired and hungry from fasting, I was more cheerful and more energised than the rest of the team, cause I was more able to spend QUIET TIME with God. It was apparant that I wasn't living by my own strength but God provided me with what I was required to. Ultimately, God carried me through and delivered my team and I safely back to camp as 1 of the 1st 3 teams to extricate early, allowing me to have more recovery time and just be so grateful for His love and mercy.
God is truly an awesome God! BMT -> BAC -> Vocational Training (VT) -> DOT -> 72KM -> ATEC -> Unarmed Combat (UC) -> Recce course... what's all this suffering and temporal where all they have served to do was to push me closer to God as I pressed in harder and harder into His presence, as trainings got tougher and just giving me the opportunity to dwell deeper within the presence of God, growing in Him. Isn't God awesome?
Certianly God is an awesome God. As training schedules tightened, it made me treasure God and church services more, hence, the need and hunger for His Word grew. Honestly, looking back, I've seen how God has been so faithful to me even though I never deserved it. Truly, He is the father of the prodigal son where we as sons, have left or made our beloved Father angry or turned our backs on Him, He still loves us and always takes us back with loving hands. Yet, this doesn't give us an excuse to take advantage of His loving kindness or grace per se, but rather, we should all the more change ourselves such that we do NOT commit the same mistakes and seek to grow into better people. Love and forgiveness were never meant to be taken for granted, but rather, shared and given back.
The Lord was there for me while I was in Brunei, even when I had turned away for a relationship, protecting me in so many different ways that I can never ever be able to illustrate or number. He saw me through 72KM and ATEC, the most tiring and draining times of my spiritual life as I went back to Him, He provided me with loving friends and support from all around, never giving up on me, even as I slid, supporting me and propping me back up to my feet. He carried me through Recce course even as I developed diarrhoea, intestinal virus attack, knee injuries and foot rot, he provided me with care and love. When I was injured, He used others to love me, people like Yong Hui and even non-Christians to just help me get things when it hurt the most. No matter what I faced or where I went, God was a Father and He was like the Commanding Officer (CO), Officer Commanding (OC), Company Sergeant Major (CSM), officer and specialist all rolled into One, caring for His son, His men.
1 other thing that I am most thankful about is that God provided me with a fantastic brother in the unit... Yong Hui. Together we fight in 1st Commando Battalion, but more importantly, together, we'll always fight for God! :D
"brothers in arm, brothers in Christ!"
Though I may ORD from the Singapore Armed Forces, but forever, I'll be a regular, a Commando for the army of God. Nothing and no-one can ever stop me from fighting the good fight and for the purposes of God! Always, forever and for eternity, I'll be a Soldier of Christ!
